You came back to read a second post? Shocked. This blog probably has no significant value. But continue reading if you must.
Addressed in our intro post was the idea that women really are just that easy to figure out. So here's what you’ve been waiting for. We’ve broken it down into only THREE specific categories and what we deemed to be the most important things. If you succeed in all of these categories-believe us- you’re in.
1) Attention.
We need your attention so that we know you’ll stick around. It's evolution at it's finest. Proving you’ll be there not twice or several times, but over and over again over time is how we need to know we can invest in you and in turn, won't get screwed over. We need that attention not just in your physical presence but also verbally by reaffirming yourself to us every so often. We'll do the same to you, but every woman needs that sense of worthiness.
WARNING: Here’s where things get tricky. There is an extremely fine line between too much attention and just enough. And on the other hand too little attention as well. Without going into too much detail, the most crucial thing here to understand is that every girl is different. Some are drama queens, some are very independent, and some are fairly balanced. For me, a needy guy will be kicked to the curb almost instantly. Gauge what kind of attention you need to be giving this girl in the first few encounters with her and she will most likely need the same amount of attention throughout your entire relationship.
Oh and if you don’t give us enough, we will most likely seek to find it elsewhere.
2) Acceptance.
It is beyond important for us to be accepted by our other female friends. We need to feel like we’re a part of something. Like we belong. Just like you all need to have your guy time playing XBOX or whatever it is you do. We need the praise and acceptance of our other friends as well. This is where the element of women’s fashion comes in. This explains the odd behavior of women getting ready to go out together and approving each other’s outfits. Our friends essentially reaffirm that we’re socially acceptable and desirable which is something we need because let’s face it, who wants to feel like a social outcast? Let us have our girl time and realize how crucial it is for us.
WARNING: The only warning in this acceptance with friends business is that you need to be careful. Some women don’t have opinions and only listen to those of their friends, so make sure the girl you’re chasing after has her head on her own shoulders and has her own thoughts and beliefs. If she doesn’t, then she will only seek the acceptance of her friends by using their thoughts, ideas, and opinions.
3.) Communication.
They say the language of men is food and actions. Whereas with women, our language is communication. Honestly to be plain and simple- talk to us! It doesn’t have to be anything of significant merit or game changing. Ask us our opinion about current events, tell us about things that matter to you, or just a story that you thought was funny you heard last week. We don’t care if you don’t pour your heart and every secret out to us- in fact don’t do that because we’ll think you’re a total and complete sissy if you do that all the time. Just use language to get on out love level. We need to be spoken and listened to.
Bonus: We know you’re someone worth keeping around if you can hold an interesting conversation with us.
Double Bonus: If you have similar humor to ours, you just won the jackpot. Make us laugh. That’s an important key to any healthy relationship-nobody wants to be serious all the time.
WARNING: Some subjects you may want to steer away from:
Past relationships. (comparing them to ex’s) ((this deserves a double parenthesis because if the relationship has been going on for some time, the ex’s will need to come up at some point.)) The important thing to remember here is that we don’t want to hear about them all the time. WE want to be your girl and the center of attention not the other girl who is (hopefully) long-gone.
Sports. We don’t mind watching a few games here and there but if you try and talk to (most of) us about the game last night or your favorite player non-stop, a) we won’t care and b) we will think you are total idiots for not being able to figure out that we don’t care.
Marriage. Until there is a ring on our finger, we will pretend like we’re deaf.
Money. If we have to listen to you complain about how expensive things are, this is a massive problem. Probably the biggest turnoff in the book is a cheap man. Believe me, it doesn’t matter how wealthy you are, or if you come from little means. You don't have to spend a gazillion dollars on us. Come on we want attention but no woman is that needy (at least a sensible one isn't). IMPORTANT: Most of us are not gold diggers and don’t expect fancy, nice things. Besides... shopping for us is a whole other blog post. As long as you don’t bring money up frequently and complain about it, it shouldn't be a problem.
Anything negative- criticizing things we do, saying derogatory things, or just saying anything super negative in general is never what we want to hear. We want meaningful, positive, conversation. We know we can say negative things about situations, people, our jobs, etc. But in general, try not to complain about any and every little thing you can think of.
DOUBLE WARNING: don’t call us dude. Or bro. we aren’t your guy buddy, we’re your girl.
These are just a few subjects off the top of my head. But, there may be some more. Now that you know the three things that we want- set it in motion! There may be some girls out there that won’t apply to this completely. But for the most part, I’m going to go ahead and say with some of my personal bias that this is a pretty accurate general overview of what we want.
The follow up question to this of course is what do men want? Or…what do we think men want?
More fun topics coming soon.
Warmly,
HJMFL
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